An encouragement to wives

Wives, stop trying to be your husband’s brother.

Your husband needs accountability, yes. “As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17). But he does not need you trying to take the place of godly men in his life.

Let men sharpen men.

Encourage your husband to surround himself with faithful, serious, godly men who will confront him, challenge him, and help him grow. That is good. That is wise. That is needed.

But do not confuse encouragement with correction. Do not confuse help with headship. Do not confuse being his wife with being his overseer.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord. For the husband is head of the wife” (Ephesians 5:22–23).

Your husband is your head. You are not his.

He is called to shepherd his home. You are called to respect him, submit to his lead, and strengthen him as his wife--not manage him as his mother, rebuke him as his pastor, or correct him as his brother.

“Let the wife see that she respects her husband” (Ephesians 5:33).

Yes, you are his sister in Christ. But you are also his wife. Those are not the same role. And neither role calls you to position yourself over your husband as his corrector.

Scripture tells older women to admonish younger women “to love their husbands, to love their children,” and “to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands” (Titus 2:4–5).

Women should sharpen women. Men should sharpen men.

A wife should encourage her husband toward godliness, not constantly position herself over him in the name of “accountability.”

Use the tools God gave wives: encouragement, respect, quiet strength, prayer, and faithful counsel.

“Let it be the hidden person of the heart,” with “the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God” (1 Peter 3:4).

Not nagging.

Not correction.

Not contempt dressed up as concern.

A wise wife helps her husband become a stronger man without trying to become the man over him.