An encouragement to men

Men, stop making your wife carry the weight that belongs on your brothers.

Your wife is called to help you, respect you, and walk beside you. She is not called to be your pastor, your father, your elder, or your accountability partner in the way godly men are.

If you have no serious men in your life who can confront you, challenge you, rebuke you, and sharpen you, that is not your wife’s failure. That is yours.

“As iron sharpens iron, so a man sharpens the countenance of his friend” (Proverbs 27:17).

Let men sharpen men.

Surround yourself with faithful, serious, godly men. Men who love Christ. Men who fear God. Men who will not flatter you, excuse your sin, or let you drift.

“He who walks with wise men will be wise, but the companion of fools will be destroyed” (Proverbs 13:20).

A man without godly brothers becomes a burden to his wife.

Do not force your wife into a role God did not give her because you refuse to seek the kind of brotherhood God says you need.

You are called to be the head of your home. “For the husband is head of the wife, as also Christ is head of the church” (Ephesians 5:23).

That does not mean you are above correction. It means you are responsible to seek it in the right places.

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend, but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful” (Proverbs 27:6).

You are called to love your wife, “just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for her” (Ephesians 5:25).

That is not passive. That is not soft. That is sacrificial, holy, weight-bearing leadership.

So lead.

Lead by repenting quickly.

Lead by confessing honestly.

Lead by getting around stronger men.

Lead by receiving hard words without defensiveness.

Lead by becoming the kind of man your wife does not have to drag toward godliness.

“Confess your trespasses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed” (James 5:16).

Your wife should not have to nag you into maturity.

She should not have to mother you into responsibility.

She should not have to become masculine because you refuse to be a man.

Get brothers. Seek counsel. Invite correction.

“Where there is no counsel, the people fall; but in the multitude of counselors there is safety” (Proverbs 11:14).

A godly man does not hide from accountability.

He seeks it, receives it, and grows under it--so he can better shepherd the home God entrusted to him.