“BUT ABUSIVE PATRIARCHS ARE NOT THE PROBLEM TODAY”

I find it highly entertaining how much flak I get from The Patriarchy™ for reminding husbands to love their wives.

At least the feminists who rage at me do so because they actually disagree with me. But folks in my own camp, who wear the label of patriarchy, and who ostensibly agree with all the things I say to husbands, nevertheless tone-police me to death over them. I find it very ironic.

I think it would be worth noting an apostolic pattern.

In the epistles, there are many instructions that are given based on one’s sex and/or station in life. The extremely consistent pattern is that when the apostle addresses one group, he then subsequently immediately addresses the following group.

Husbands and wives. Parents and children. Slaves and masters.

Paul did not see fit to say “well you guys just struggle with this one thing, so I’m only going to rebuke the women.” He would give specific rebukes to specific categories based on the things going on in that church, but his rebukes are almost always measured out to all classes.

What am I saying? That you can’t write a book just for men, or just for women? That you can’t preach a sermon just targeting one sex?

Of course not. But I am saying that the consistent targeting of one sex or group should not characterize a ministry, at least if we want to follow apostolic patterns, and that certainly it is silly to attack other believers who seek to follow those patterns and be consistent and impartial in their target identification.

Finally, it is worth noting that Paul was writing to specific churches, and he knew the specific issues within those specific churches. If anyone could rightly target just one group, it would be someone with that level of pastoral involvement in a specific church.

To assume that our experience and opinions constitute an accurate representation of all of the marriages within America – “abusive husbands are not the problem, rebellious wives are” - or, for the egalitarian, “patriarchal abuse is the problem, feminism is not”- this is hubris.

It’s extremely dangerous to assume that we know what the entire nation needs.

A pastor might assess a specific marriage and discover that the wife is the one who needs the rebuke. And this could be completely appropriate.

But that is very different than a pundit looking at an entire nation and deciding to only primarily rebuke one class.

Very dangerous territory.

The devil is very good at figuring out which door was left unlocked.